Semantics is the study of meaning. As it concerns words (linguistic semantics), it is the study of meaning that is used by humans to express themselves through language.
Semantics have played a huge role in my journey so far (and just so you know, I am not overly fond of the word journey in this context, but sometimes it’s appropriate). Those who know me know that I have a visceral reaction to certain words. I cringe, rebel, resist, constrict when I hear them:
Goal
Struggle
Discipline
Structure
Diet
Deadline
Plan
Force
Do it anyway
And so it became important for me to choose words that help me be who I want to be, and to avoid words that work against me. It may sound silly to some, but this is my truth.
Take, for example, this quote by Luciano Pavarotti:
“People think I’m disciplined. It is not discipline. It is devotion. There is a great difference.”
In thinking about difference between discipline and devotion, being devoted sounds so much more appealing (to me) than being disciplined. I am devoted to my health and to my body.
Taking it a step farther, finding something to which I wanted to be devoted, something that lights me up (and fills me up), was a key component in weight loss. And here’s the funny part: that to which I am devoted to has nothing to do with losing weight (at least not directly). Being devoted to writing and speaking fills me up in a way that food never could.
I also want to share something that Michele, who writes at Healthy Cultivations, wrote about the difference between struggle and suffer because it illustrates how words and their meanings work for her.
I’ve written A LOT about not wanting to struggle. Years ago I realized that if I view anything as a struggle, then that’s what I’ll get. More struggle. I didn’t want weight loss to be a struggle.
Over time I have come to realize that some things are worth struggling for (understanding is a big one)…not to mention how good it feels to be on the other side of it. When I read Michele’s post, it helped me clarify that I’d rather avoid suffering.
That said, I’m still not a fan of the word struggle because nearly all of its definitions and synonyms relate to war. I have a big problem with using war analogies in relation to my body.
Are there certain words or phrases that don’t work for you? Have you come up with others that do?
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
I hate LIFESTYLE change! So diet mentality! I love living intuitively or living your yoga better.
It’s funny, I used to like lifestyle change…now it’s sort of a code word.
Yes, there are a number of words that don’t really work for me. One of them is exercise. I’m starting to lean towards using the term movement instead. I am also not a fan of the word discipline and this posts helps me to come up with a new term – devoted. I like that. One that I really, really don’t like -even more so than diet is “healthy lifestyle” which to me implies a pseudo diet.
Yeah, it’s like all the diet companies realized that “healthy lifestyle” sounded better than “diet.”
Oh boy, I love the discipline versus devotion approach. Really, I need to just sit quietly with that one for an hour… just thinking on it. For me, I think I want to focus on being devoted to living… to doing the things I’ve always done vicariously instead (though I’ll continue to bungee jump vicariously).
One of the phrases that is starting to bother me is the direction to “be present.” I get it, and I also get the profound importance of it. I fear that with overuse, it will lose meaning for people. The profundity of what can happen when we ARE present with ourselves is nothing short of miraculous, and I don’t want to see that lost as the term goes mainstream.
Yeah, bungee jumping isn’t something I want to do ever. ;-)
I agree with you about the phrase “be present.” That and several other new-age-y phrases definitely get over-used and lose their meaning.
I have just accepted struggle as a word in my life, but upon hearing you discuss that you don’t like the synonyms and definitions specifically in relation to war and conflict (a problem word for me). I think I’m going to adopt your articulation as part of my self-talk about my body. It’s unacceptable to me to be at war with my body. I carry it around with me all the time. I need to work with it. Not against it. Definitely not at war.
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t banished struggle from my vocabulary, I just don’t use it in certain contexts.
My trigger words…. Scale, Warrior, and phrase Do the math…you know Calories In, Calories Out. many, many reasons why…..
Goals use to be until I made it into an acronym….Good Orderly Actions Leading to Success – that helps me break it down into steps for me….
Yeah, I’m not a big fan of the word “warrior” either. I like your GOAL acronym…it’s not that I don’t have goals, I just have to sneak them in the back door ;-)
Oh I do love semantics and word play:) You are singing my song today. I am fine with journey – haven’t found a simpler, better word yet. But adventure was suggested to me by a wise fellow blogger. I use the word struggle a lot. That one doesn’t ring any bells for me. But when I started talking about “normal” on my blog I wondered a lot about that instead of a different word. The thing is, we each interpret words in our own way, with our own frames of reference and baggage, so what sounds fine to one may jar another. Kinda makes it extra challenging to be a blogger who likes to get her point across and loves when someone can identify with what I say.
Exactly Karen…it’s fascinating to me that a simple word can shut one person down and yet another person lights right up!
Love this! You got all my triggers on here for sure; I’d also throw in cleanse and detox. I really appreciate the difference you shared between discipline and devotion; I think that’s really helpful. Thanks for sharing!!
You reminded me of another one: “jump start.”
Lots of good food for thought.
My Twitter name is CocosFight2BFit, but as I’ve explained before, the “fight” is against outside forces (meeting food and junk food served at work, etc.) not myself. To me it’s a more powerful name than anything with “struggle,” but maybe b/c at least for now I am winning this fight!
I did make “lifestyle” changes to maintain my weight loss–I make healthier choices now as my natural/preferred choice. I don’t know how else to say it.
I struggle with “goal” too (LOL). I like Jules’ acronymn, but its goal-setting I struggle with (honestly, that’s the best word), not the action-taking.
I will have to pay attention to catch-phrases that get under my skin and get back to you. ;-)
It’s all a matter of what works for you…for some, words like “fight” and “struggle” work! My point was not to say that other’s shouldn’t use those words!
I agree with you that the words we use are important. I too don’t like war analogies. My aim is to learn to cooperate with my body, not subject it to my will. These days I feel so much congruence between mind and body and it’s beyond exciting. I exercise because my body wants to move and be challenged. I eat the way I do because it helps me to think clearly, get in touch with my emotions and feel physically light and clean. Weight loss is quite incidental.
I like incidental weight loss :-)
You know, no. I love words. I love them I love them I love them. And words don’t really intimidate me. I say fat. I say diet. I say perfect.
I suppose I sort of ‘reclaim’ them to mean what I want them to mean. Like, I wrote a post talking about my perfect place to be mentally – my sweet spot. My perfect place is NOT a place where I’m doing everything right. My perfect place is where I CARE about TRYING.
But a lot of people couldnt relate to the post because I used the word perfect.
I don’t know. OTHER things don’t work for me. Having pringles or beer in my house doesn’t work for me. Working out with a partner doesnt work for me. But calling the period of time where I am focused on weight loss a ‘diet’ just doesn’t bother me.
Does that make any sense?
It makes total sense…it’s what makes the world go ’round. Knowing what works and what doesn’t work for you is a wonderful thing! It’s the point of my post :-)
Really interesting post, Karen! It’s making me think about all the war metaphors that are used in traditional Christianity. That always made me uncomfortable, and was probably a big reason I went onto a different path with my personal religion and spirituality. I also have a visceral negative reaction to the word “convert.”
I hate the word journey in relationship to weight loss.
I also don’t like using the term motivation to describe what keeps me going. I do like the idea of devotion, but I also use determination. I am determined, not motivated. Motivation fades, but I need to stay determined or devoted.
Yeah, I’m not a big fan of “motivation” either…
for me the words that DONT WORK are willpower discipline or ‘mojo’
the first two are just far too “forced” (as you explain above and as I ramble about when I talk about how I have willingness not will power) and mojo?
I cant lie :) Ive grown tired of it.
Im slowing taking the misfit stance that as adults we often dont have the luxury of lamenting lost mojo–we simply need to do it.
Ah yes…willpower. How could I have forgotten that one? I am with you Mizfit!
We could be soul sisters!!! I agree with everything you write! I think the only word I have come to embrace in a way is structure, because it helped me so much in early recovery. Like I schedule cleaning my house on saturday because it wont be done if I dont! Other words that I rebel against are : bitch (for obvious reason that for some reason strong women are still seen as different than men), powerless (which is interesting and why I struggled with AA, hated that word, but when I read a quote that powerless doesn’t mean helplessness it changed how I view the word), emotional (UGH!!! I think being emotional is a strength and yet it is a word used so often negatively). I am sure I have others but you touched on a majority of mine. DIET IS A HUGE one for me.
I am late to the game! I think these word playings we have with ourselves is all about just the way losing weight, finding a job or anything else works – you have to find what works for you & if defining it in a different way works for you, more power is what i say.
I don’t mind the word journey or lifestyleye or willpower & some other things but that is just me.
I can see devotion vs. discipline works for some. MizFit does this too & willpower, she says willingness & I like that too because although I think I have lots of willpower, it is my willingness to do the things I do that gets me where I want to go…
Great post!
I just read your book excerpt from Miz’s shout out on FB. Ahh…..fantastic. I am stuck in the whirlwind of it all. Thanks for putting it out there. I do believe that book will be on my shelf in the bestseller section.
Wonderful post, Karen. I don’t know why, but for some reason I seem to be struggling with the word ‘journey’. I think it is overused – even by me – and I’d love to find another word that captures the essence of the paths we’re all taking.
I love this, devotion instead of discipline. You are right,semantics do matter and have a huge impact in how we create our stories in our heads and in life. Funnily enough I don’t really have any “hate” words when it comes to dieting and such, but I have strong reactions to certain new-age as well as corporate words and phrases, especially the latter. Such as “leverage”, “sales target”, “maximize profit”, “motivation through challenge” etc. I cannot even count the number of business meetings I have sat through where people talk a certain way and all I do is cringe inside and think “get me outta here!” Great food for thought here, ha! :)
I love the way you just turned my world upside down Karen – I will now be devoted to my body, rather than trying to discipline it – thank you gorgeous x