This month’s word is CHANGE.
In and of itself, I am not averse to change. In fact, I rather like it. I like to change my clothes. I like to change my mind. I like a change of scenery. I like to change things up. I feel stagnant if I can’t change things around once in a while.
But I also like certain things to stay the same. I don’t want to change my husband, I don’t want to change my family. I don’t want to change my friends. I am also finding, as I get older, that I like my routines. As much as I love to travel, I prefer my own bed and to eat my own predictable food.
It’s only been in the past couple of years that I have come to understand change in a different way…specifically as it concerns who I am mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I used to think that happiness would only come when I changed myself sufficiently enough to be thinner, richer, healthier, more successful…you get the picture. I didn’t view those things as being possible without significant change.
Then I learned about the paradoxical theory of change, which states: change occurs when we become what we are, not when we try to become what we are not. Change does not take place through coercion, either by ourselves or by someone else trying to change us, but it does take place if we take the time and effort to be what we are – to be fully invested in our current positions. By rejecting the role of change agent, we make meaningful and orderly change possible (paraphrased from Arnold Beisser, M.D., from The Gestalt Therapy Page)
So far, this has proven itself time and again in my life: the most significant and lasting changes I’ve made have come NOT from trying to change – they have come from being at peace with myself.
“We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.”
~ Carl Jung
Does this resonate with you? How do you feel about change? What has been the most effective method of change for you?