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As I lay awake at 3:30 this morning a thought crossed my mind: I should write a poem on my blog. I quickly dismissed it, thinking, I can’t. I can’t focus. It will sound stupid anyway.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 63 trillion times: it never ceases to amaze me how hormones affect my mood. And even though I KNOW it’s hormones, it doesn’t change how I feel in the moment. I feel nothin’ about nothin’ right now and, as usual, I’m thinking, what if I get stuck this way? But I never do.
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Inspiration comes when I need it. Joy Tanksley has issued an invitation that was obviously meant for me: write a poem. She even provides a prompt (which certainly helped me, but I didn’t follow it exactly, and that is okay). Go check it out.
And so, without further ado, my poem:
Karen-ness
Unsure sometimes but sure
Who loves paradox
Who feels deeply, universally, everything
Who gives everything and nothing
Who fears nothing or everything
Who seeks her own truth
Both/and not either/or
This is the essence of Karen
I used to write poetry (and I drew a lot too!) when I was in college and in my early 20s. Over time, I somehow let go of that ability. Actually, no, that is not the case. What happened is that I stopped believing that I could do it well enough. Enough for what? Or maybe it’s more like I stopped believing that I could do it as well as (or better than) others so why bother? I have to believe that this is common…that when we’re children (or in my later-bloomer case, when we’re in our late teens or early 20s), if we want to write a poem or draw a picture, we just do it and we don’t care if it’s better than or enough. We do it just because we want to.
It feels good to have written a poem, just because I wanted to.
Did you know that April is National Poetry Month? Have you ever written a poem? Do you hold yourself back from more artistic endeavors thinking that you won’t be good enough, or as good as others?
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, there are things I put off and sometimes never do because I think “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not as good as…” I love your poem. It’s very Karen! Might have to check out Joy’s challenge!
I love what you did on your blog with this prompt!!
You know, besides haiku, I have never even tried to write a poem! I love your poem. I love you.
I love you too Christie!
For some reason I’m just not into poetry. Never have been. My mind just doesn’t accept it… But I hear what you’re saying – I bought a guitar in my early thirties and LOVED and REVELED in playing, even though I have NO musical talent whatsoever. When I got married I stopped and I haven’t touched my guitar since. I think it’s time.
I think it’s hilarious that right after you posted this, you went a wrote a poem! ;-) Have you picked up your guitar yet?
I want to start writing poetry again. I did it a lot in college because I was in the literary society. It’s such a freeing form of writing!
Katie, did you try writing a poem based on Joy’s prompt?
I haven’t written poetry since I was a kid. I read a blog that is often filled with amazing poetry that reflects the author’s journey and I find myself envious of her ability to express herself with such beauty. Love your poem, Karen.
Thanks…I don’t think I am going to take up writing poetry on a regular basis, but you never know!
I hear you! I think the thing about poetry is how personal it is. If you don’t get it, it’s ok… it was ‘my’ poem anyway. Or even better… when someone else enjoys it enough to make it their own and that doesn’t even resemble what you were trying to say.
If any of that makes sense.
I liked it… I got it.
It makes sense and thanks for “getting it”! :-)
yes. After I stopped taking art classes, I just…stopped drawing. I’ve also stopped sewing, but mostly because it causes me stress and anxiety to think about sewing. As though I have to have my life completely together to sew. But, I’ve let it go for now while I’m so busy.
Any type of needle work causes me stress and anxiey too!! My mother and her mother and her mother before her are/were all excellent seamstresses, knitters and so on…I didn’t get that gene!
I still draw and write poetry.. but still keep a lot of this to myself.
K ind and caring
A wesomely daring
R eaching people with her words
E nriching lives each and every day
N ourishment words I enjoy
Awwww…thanks :-)
I just wrote that I have been wanting to make art again (something I did all the time in my teens and early twenties), and that I’m committing to doing it! I’m not a poetry person, but I am an artistic person, and it’s been missing in my life, big time.
Love your poem!
So what are you going to do about it Jen? :-)
LOVE your poem! You know, I never felt good enough, even as a kid. I don’t even know why I started out that way but my fears started early on. I did find I was good at some athletic stuff so I tried some of that but in general, I was fearful of not being good enough at so much.
I think many start to feel this way as an adult. Many kids just flow & have no fear although I was not one of them.
I have written as school assignments & usually did so-so. Funny, as shy as I am/was, I always got praised for my oral delivery vs.written. I will never forget at a junior college class I took for pre college entrance – the professor loved something I wrote & read it to the class. I still think about that to this day because nobody ever said I was good at writing.
What strikes me Jody is that it seems we never want to give ourself credit for what comes easily to us. We want to be good at something others are good at. I think you express yourself well via the written word. I haven’t heard you speak (yet) but I imagine you’re good at that too! And I was never one of those kids who flowed and had not fear either!
Love the poem, Karen!
I have written poetry when the mood strikes, some of which I’ve put on my blogs and some I have shared as notes on Facebook. I even had one poem published on a friend’s blog as her choice for Poetry Friday. I was fairly humbled about that.
Words seem to be what I do so I don’t often think of it as artistic. It became much easier to write my poems when I stopped imaging an audience. Sure there is still an internal editor, but now I goad that editor into helping get what I need to say right rather than what someone else might want to hear. It’s not easy to get him to do it. What’s even harder is to believe other people what to read what I have written ostensibly for myself!
I very much relate Kevin…I “do” words too and don’t think of it as being artistic. Creative, yes, but not artistic. The more I blog, the more I understand that what I write for myself is appealing to others. Not sure why, but it sure seems to be true! I guess it comes down to this: that which comes easily to you is valuable to others.
I use to write poetry…actually I used to write. I used to create. I used to paint. I used to make things…
You are right, it is common that we lose touch with that about ourselves. I am not sure exactly of the reason but the result ends up being that we feel less capable or interesting than someone else. I think we lose sight of it in education as well. But that is a rant for another time.
I am so glad I read your poem. I love it. Simple yet profound. I was just thinking I needed to get something up on my personal blog. I am going to write a poem!!
Liane, where is your personal blog? I’d love to check it out! Did you write a poem?
I like your poem.
I used to write a lot of poetry. It was most intense in my twenties. I had to go on some medication (Zoloft) for depression and anxiety and then went on it again for post-partem depression. The poetry stopped. I was kind of numb, lost sexual desire (but that could be from motherhood!), couldn’t cry. I just didn’t feel. It was weird. It’s hard to write when there’s no emotion.
I’ve been off the meds for years now and am coping with depression and anxiety with a healthier lifestyle (discovered binge eating was also not a good way to cope – LOL). I wonder if I have any poetry left in me. I may try.