You’d think that with the name “Before & After” this blog would be all about what I look like. I’ve had people tell me that they’re disappointed because I don’t have actual “before” and “after” photos of myself posted somewhere on this blog. I’ve also had people tell me that they think I must be ashamed of how I look because I regained some of the weight I had lost.
I admit that I have “ashamed” moments, but they are fleeting and occur a lot less often than they used to. But here’s the thing: for way too long my life was about my weight and my looks. Somewhere along the line I decided to stop trying to fix my physical self, and start healing my emotional self. I knew that if I took the time to know who I really am on the inside, to nurture and love the inside me, then who I am on the outside would respond in kind.
A little over a year ago a woman named Mish started the “Exposed” movement because she was tired of hating the way that she looked and wanted to celebrate her body. I now join Mish and all the others (there are more than 100) who have participated in this very empowering movement.
October 2010
October 2010
This is my almost-48-year-old body. The most important thing that it does is house “me.” For many years I abused my body by hating it, by eating too much food, and by not moving it enough. As a result, it and I suffered. Five years ago, I started to love it more and it responded by releasing excess fat. But I fell back into hating it and so I pushed it and hurt it and abused it some more.
My mission, since the beginning of 2009, has been to make peace with this body, to make sure it is safe, healthy and loved. It feels so much better now that I am not ashamed of it. I challenge it, but don’t push it too hard. I feed it well. And as a result, it is capable of many things and allows me to live a life that is more in alignment with who I am.
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“Somewhere along the line I decided to stop trying to fix my physical self, and start healing my emotional self. I knew that if I took the time to know who I really am on the inside, to nurture and love the inside me, then who I am on the outside would respond in kind.”
I love you and thank you.
Thank YOU Tara. <3
This hit me in the head “I knew that if I took the time to know who I really am on the inside, to nurture and love the inside me, then who I am on the outside would respond in kind.” —> I have spent my whole entire life trying to fix my physical self to then fix my emotional self. It’s never worked.
I love this. You’re one of the most beautiful people I know. Thank you for joining this movement.
Mish…thank YOU! You are doing this work so honestly and courageously. YOU are a role model…
Bravo, baby! Your journey is such an inspiration, and I am so thankful for the message you are putting out to the world. It really is about making peace – and making peace with our bodies is only the beginning (as you well know). You are beautiful inside and out.
Thanks…it feels good to be at peace finally. :-)
I think you and all the other people who have done these exposed posts are awesome. Hooray for real people embracing their bodies. I have to admit it makes me feel inferior, as I am not secure enough to really expose my body like that. But I did put before and after pics on my blog in bathing suits! I wish I could come to a place where I wouldn’t feel shy about letting the world see my deflated saggy belly.
I know when I have seen exposed posts by others who have lost a lot of weight, clearly showing their excess skin, I just think, “THANK YOU!” So why can’t I do it myself?
I have really been enjoying your blog. Both for your honesty and for your excellent writing.
Caroline, there is no “should” in this whole thing. It takes as long as it needs to take. Thanks for your kind words!
First of all, I congratulate you for doing this post. I know it wasn’t easy.
Second of all, I love this point: for way too long my life was about my weight and my looks
I went through the same thing, but luckily (?) my kids and my job demanded so much of me that I had to put my weight and caloric intake in perspective and finally realized that (apart from being healthy) they just didn’t matter.
Finally, I have to say, that you look great! Your fitness really does show through. ;-)
Thanks Coco…I love that I can see just a bit of definition in my belly… :-)
I am so absolutely in love with the Exposed movement and just as in love with you and Before & After, that this post just made my week! Thanks for partaking in the body-love and showing off your gorgeous self (inside and out!).
:-) Thanks friend. <3
I’m so proud you did this! What a great inspiration to others. And I LOVE your inside-out approach….totally what I believe too!
Thank you…
Karen, you look wonderful, it is so true that we need to work on the inside and the outside will definitely reflect that hard work.
You look absolutely awesome, strong, fierce and beautiful! WOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very proud of you.
Thank you!
I love this post, Karen and so glad that we have found one another through doing the inside work.
Me too! Here’s to “inside work”!
Karen,
Wow, this is so good to read today! You inspire me…inspire me with the word LOVE…
When we love ourselves…our complete selves (the whole package) – wow, what a great place to “be”. Keep shining your amazing soul out into the world….what a gift you are!
Thank you Lance!! I got the idea in my head that I had to stop declaring war on my body…I had to stop hating it. It’s been a work in progress but so worth it!
You are such an inspiration to me Karen. You are ROCKING 48. Embracing exposing and getting better and wiser and WISER each year.
It is about healing our innards (can you tell Im in a thanksgiving state of mind :)) BEFORE we can make any changes to the outards.
and so so many times Ive worked with women who shifted the innards and decided they were already happy with the outer.
no chages necessary.
Exactly Miz…I tried changing the outer without enough inner changes and it didn’t work…go figure :-)
someone dared tell you that you should be ashamed? i sure hope you put them in their place.
i’m finding that part of growing okay with your skin means being okay with a little weight gain. you are gorgeous not because you look good on the outside (and you do) but because you understand that there are more important things in life then a few pounds here or there. like the state of your emotional health.
Thanks so much Brooke…and no, I wasn’t told that I should be ashamed, but rather I’ve had some people wonder if I am because I didn’t have pictures of myself on my blog.
My belief is that, after giving up the time and energy-draining hating relationship with the body, no matter its size or shape, there’s life out there. A real life we’ve been missing. I think way too many of us give away our power obsessing over weight, food, sizes and bodies, power that could be used (and is needed) in the world.
Pat Barone, CPCC, PCC
“America’s Weight Loss Catalyst”
Karen, I always enjoy your posts, this one especially…as I gear up to meet with a dietician, I’ve been thinking about all the information I’ve learned–and skewed. I realize that I have no idea what food even is anymore. And I realize that my outer body shows my inner confusion. Thank you for being so brave to put it all out there (and the photo is just icing; I’m really talking about all the posts you’ve been writing over the last year+)
Karen, this is such a beautiful and thoughtful post! I, too, focused on bashing my body and trying to improve my looks at the expense of focusing on and cultivating the inside. I’m bookmarking your post and will be returning to it often – I can always use the reminder!
I felt so much better when I realized that all of the hatred I had toward me and my body was because I loved – love – myself.
I used to feel like I had a split personality, the one who cared (who would *eat healthily* and *reasonably* and the one who didn’t care, and I always sided with the one who was “doing the right thing.”
That’s like siding with just one of Sybil’s personalities, or thinking that she was crazy, when the reality was that her brain and her innate drive to self-protect by splitting into 17 separate personalities was the ONLY sane thing going on in her life.
Not many of us would willingly abandon someone we love, and if we have been taught, especially at the point that our brains are sponges – that food IS love, than how can we – in good conscious – withhold it from ourselves when we are suffering?
Every single time I *over*ate was my attempt to take care of myself. My way out of my weigh in started when I realized what loving hands I was in.
Thank you so much for the dialogue, Karen,
Karen :-) (but just the one of me now, the others are sleeping :-)
P.S. Love your new design!
My mission, since the beginning of 2009, has been to make peace with this body, to make sure it is safe, healthy and loved
I so loved that statement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All of it but especially that! You look great!
A woman who both looks and feels beautiful and strong? Miraculous, and so totally awesome!
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