So here I am, continuing to lose inches off my waist (six gone…and counting), and I just realized something: because I am not afraid of food any more, I am enjoying it a lot more!!
In the past couple of months I’ve been enjoying dessert once or twice a week, a glass of wine with dinner, sometimes a piece of bread with butter, or a snack of, say, pretzels and hummus in the afternoon when I find myself (truly) hungry. And I really enjoy these things…they taste good and satisfy me. And when I am done, I am done.
And then there are times when I just need to eat more, for whatever reason. I and eat until I am satisfied.
I went through a period of time during the summer when I was…experimenting. I think that’s the right word. I was testing myself and my feelings around food and hunger. Sometimes I’d worry if I thought I was hungry when I “shouldn’t” be. Sometimes I’d have a slightly “rebellious” feeling if I was eating something I thought I “shouldn’t.” But slowly, those feelings are going away and are being replaced with enjoyment and satisfaction.
You’d think that someone who overeats/binges is doing so because they really love food…but that’s not the case, at least it wasn’t for me. I overate/binged out of shame, guilt, anger, and anxiety – to numb – and that’s not enjoyable at all!