August 2012

NOTE (added a few hours after my initial post): Even as I was writing about this post, I felt a little uneasy about it. Jen clarified why in the comments and on her own blog. I considered taking this post down, but will leave it for now and see what kind of discusion it generates.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the moral neutrality of food, specifically green beans and chocolate cake..

And in a more recent post calling for questions in regards to self-acceptance and weight loss, Hanlie  left a comment that said, amongst other things:

“You talked about food being morally neutral – bodies are morally neutral too.”

Imagining a hypothetical question like the one that sparked the green beans/chocolate cake debate:

“So an obese person is the same as a person who’s thin?”

Here’s my response:

An obese person is an obese person and a thin person is a thin person. They are obviously not the same person, and they are not the same from personal/subjective standpoint. But both are morally neutral. Ascribing qualifiers like “good” or “bad” is personal and subjective, not morally neutral.

The obese person may have stretch marks and cellulite. The thin person may have stretch marks and cellulite, as well. Is that morally good or bad?

A thin person might have a thick midsection and protruding belly and an obese person might have an hour-glass figure and relatively tiny waist. Morally, is one better than the other?

The obese person may take a five-mile walk every day while the thin person may sit at a desk all day. Is that morally good or bad?

Or maybe the obese person is in a wheelchair and thus has a sedentary job, while the thin person has a job that keeps her on her feet and active all day. Is one body better than the other? Or are they morally neutral?

The thin person may have high cholesterol and diabetes. The obese person may not. Or vice versa. Is it good or bad either way, morally?

The thin person may eat a “paleo” diet while the obese person may do the same, or might be a vegan. Or both may subsist on a diet of fast food. Is either good or bad, morally?

The thin person may be asked to be a model in a magazine, while the obese person might be the photographer. Is this morally good or bad?

The thin person may have severe acne while the obese person may have flawless skin. Is one better than the other? Morally?

Both the thin person and the obese person might hate their bodies. Is it good for the obese person to hate his/her body, but bad for the thin person? From a moral perspective?

The thin person may have an eating disorder like bulimia. The obese person may have binge-eating disorder. Is one better than the other, morally?

There’s an Olympic swimmer who has a belly and an Olympic weightlifter who weighs 325 pounds. Are their bodies morally better or worse than, say, a 110-pound supermodel who can’t run a mile or curl a 10-pound weight?

And what about a person who is thin, healthy in every way, loves his/her body, and is strong and fit? Where does this person’s body fit on the morality scale?

I believe all bodies are morally neutral.

What do you think? Are all bodies morally neutral? 

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A month from today – at the third annual Fitbloggin ’12 conference in Baltimore, MD – I will have the honor of working with two women I admire greatly (Shauna and Mara) to facilitate a discussion that has, at its core, these two questions:

Are you afraid that self-acceptance means you’ll never lose weight?

and

Does self-acceptance mean giving up?

Talk about the ultimate both/and discussion!

As Shauna so eloquently put it today: “I’ve puzzled over this topic many times these past couple of years. There’s a desire to feel at peace with myself and my body, but at the same time there’s things I want to change. Is this possible? Am I really a nutty dieter hiding in self-acceptance clothing? Am I some sorta self-acceptance sell-out if I want to lose some pounds? Am I throwing in the towel if I don’t change a thing? Can’t I have a foot in both camps? And what the heck does self-acceptance mean anyway?”

Yes! What she said!

Shuana, Mara, and I are in the processs of answering these and other related questions for ourselves, in preparation for the discussion and for a free eBook that will be available afterwards.

Although it will take place “live” at Fitbloggin’, the discussion will also take place virtually (“live Tweeted” from Baltimore) and so whether you will physically be there or not, we welcome your participation:

What questions do you have about self-acceptance?

More specifically, (quoting Mara here…)

• What has always irked you about conversations about self-love?
• What feels too good to be true, and what do you need clarified?
• How might you need to be better supported in order to be your best, most loving self?
• What do you really wish people said out loud on the topic of self-acceptance?

Leave a comment below, find me on Facebook  or Twitter  (use the hashtag #fitbloggin) or send me an email.

We look forward to hearing from you!

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One of the most pivotal moments in my life was the day I walked into my first Emotional Freedom Technique session and – after pouring out my sad story – was asked to say, “Even though I am overweight, I still love and accept myself.”

I had no concept of what that meant.

Another pivotal moment came a few years later when I understood that within me resided several “selves” and that the most powerful of these selves was “Resistant Karen.”

Resistant Karen made an appearance recently when I attended an Uplevel Your Business retreat, except my recognition of her came with different terminology: resistance is my default setting. It shows up in many aspects of my life, not just in regards to food and my body, but also in determining the very purpose of my life!

Over the past year, since my book came out, I have spent a lot of time resisting what comes next. And believe me, there is something coming next! But I was confused: was I resisting because it’s really a bad idea? Or was I resisting because I am afraid, because I’d rather play small?

This morning, while in the shower (after a kickass kettlebell workout), I had a thought: acceptance is the opposite of resistance.

ACCEPTANCE is the OPPOSITE of RESISTANCE?

Everything I have been doing here on this blog and in my book has been about practicing (preaching?) acceptance on a regular basis, and a good part of that has been acknowledging resistance, but until that ah-ha-moment-in-the-shower, I hadn’t seen the oh-so-obvious connection between the two.

And then, almost immediately, I saw the lovely spectrum between both extremes. I saw the both/and, not just the either/or.

And so this I believe: acceptance is a powerful change agent and accelerator, and resistance is a brake to be applied mindfully, not something to stomp one’s foot down on automatically…not a default setting.

Because the truth is, both acceptance and resistance serve.

Hi.  My name is Karen Anderson. I am an author, blogger, both/and thinker, creator of ah-ha moments, and a lover of what is. I show women who hate their bodies – who are oh-so-tired of dieting – that is possible to achieve a healthy, natural body weight through acceptance. My job is to demonstrate the connection between acceptance and resistance and to live it out loud.

This post was inspired by This I Believe, by Maia Toll. 

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A while back I got into a discussion on Facebook in regards to this statement from Dr. Rick Kausman: “All food is morally neutral” (something I believe).

I was asked, “So chocolate cake is the same as green beans? Please explain.”

Here’s my response and then some:

Chocolate cake is chocolate cake and green beans are green beans. They are not same, molecularly. They are also not the same from a personal/subjective standpoint. But both are morally neutral. Ascribing qualifiers like “good” or “bad” is personal and subjective.

I can eat either the beans or the cake and observe how they taste, how they feel in my body, how they react in my body, and what the results are from eating them.

The beans may give me gas. Is that good or bad? Only I can determine that. The cake may taste wonderful. Is that good or bad? The beans may supply my body with nutrients it needs. So might the cake. Eating the cake could make me gain weight under certain circumstances. The beans might help me lose weight. Or vice versa.

I might go to a Farmer’s Market and buy some freshly grown green beans (or grow them myself), steam them, put a little olive oil, salt, and pepper on them and enjoy them with some grilled chicken. Or, I might go to the grocery store, buy a can of green beans swimming in sodium and eat them right from the can along with some prefabricated, fried “chicken” nuggets.

I could bake a chocolate cake from scratch, using high-quality, organic ingredients, cut a small slice, put it on a beautiful plate, and savor it one delicious bite at a time. Or I could buy a cheap, chemical-filled chocolate cake (or cake mix) and shovel it in right from the package.

(Yes, I am writing it this way on purpose).

If I had a choice between the cheap, chemical-filled chocolate cake and the fresh beans and chicken, I’d choose the beans. If I had a choice between the homemade cake and the canned beans, the cake would definitely win. Is that good or bad?

Here’s another twist:

Let’s say I have both the homemade cake AND the fresh beans. If I really wanted cake, but ate beans instead because I thought, “cake is bad and beans are good,” and I didn’t satisfy my desire for the cake, I might eat more (of anything) in an effort to feel satiety. I might feel frustrated and deprived.

Some people might say, “But if I eat one bite of cake, I’ll eat the whole rest of the cake and then a box of cookies and and and…” If that’s the case, there’s something else going on. Maybe it was a poorly made cake full of chemicals and cheap ingredients, and maybe the person was watching TV while eating it, so it wasn’t satisfying, nutritionally or otherwise.

Or maybe (probably) there are physical imbalances and/or emotional issues that needs to be addressed.

Either way, I truly believe that with patience and compassion for ourselves, we can figure it out, address it, and be able to experiment with a small slice of cake again. Hopefully a cake made lovingly with quality ingredients from a source we know and trust.

What do you think? Is all food morally neutral?

(Note regarding the photos: please click to see the  original source. For some reason, inserting a caption below the photo does not work. I am in the process of trying to figure out why.)

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