(gee, I just realized that I’ve been using fable analogies lately)
I have more to say regarding yesterday’s blog post:
For those who want to compete I am behind you 100%! I am screaming and leaping for joy on the sidelines!! I am crying those tears of “wow” with you. I am thrilled for you. I know how much time, dedication, blood, sweat and tears it takes and I know how freaking awesome it feels to cross a finish line. I remember how excited I was to run my first 5K…and who knows? I may do another one some day.
But in hindsight, I see that running races was not really *my* dream, even though it felt like it at the time. I did it because I didn’t know what my dream was and I got caught up in the tide. I did it because I thought it was one more way I might fix myself or become part of some club that would make me feel better about myself. It’s what the cool kids were doing.
And the not-so-funny thing is that I have done this most of my life. And not just with running or other sports, although that’s the form it has taken in the past few years. A long time ago I wrote about the first time I ran and described it as what “wow” feels like. Little did I know that there was another “wow” that would come my way a little further on down the path that had nothing to do with running.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my fitness routine and what it does for my body, but I no longer need to “become an athlete.” I used to think that “becoming an athlete” was somehow required…that once we’re on this journey and we lose some weight, we’re expected to don the mantle of athlete and be continually working towards a fitness-related personal best.
I am a late bloomer. It has taken me a really long time to figure some stuff out. I am not complaining or denigrating myself, just telling it like it is. And I am more than okay with it.
And here’s the thing: in allowing myself to…
…figure out that I didn’t know I was doing this in the first place, and then…
…figure out what my dream actually is, and then…
…pursue that dream…
…I no longer need to numb myself with food.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I hear and feel you cheering for me! xox, jen
I have loved watching you find your “thing” YOU reek of love & passion for your kettlebells! You never seem to do it for any other reason than you enjoy yourself and how you feel after your workout. Keep rocking Karen, I am here cheering for you!
Thanks Jen. And here’s the funny thing: yeah, I love kettlebells, but that’s not my passion. Writing is my passion.
I love reading what you’re putting to the universe, my dear! Along with you, I have allowed myself to “figure out what my dream actually is, and then…pursue that dream…” I also allow myself to dream a new dream at any moment, to change my mind, to reinvent myself with zero guilt and zero regrets. Here’s to authenticity! XO!
What are you talking about. You are SUCH AN ATHLETE.
I’m glad you’re not running because everybody else was. I remember the first time I ran a 5K (not a race). I did it to prove to myself that I could. I don’t do things because others are doing it. I do things for myself. I happen to love the race atmosphere, the feeling of accomplishment, and I like running. It all adds up to the fact that I enjoy what I do.
But I would never race just to be in the “in crowd” because running 26.2 miles and too much for just being in the “in crowd”.
I’m glad you’re doing what YOU love, MizKettleBell Asskickerbutter.
Jess, that is the most awesome nickname EVER!! And as I said to Jen, yeah, I love kettlebells, but that’s not my passion. Writing is my passion.
I would also suggest that you really are an athlete. I have resisted calling myself a runner for several years, convinced I wasn’t a “real runner.” When really, what the hell is that anyway? Labels are what we make of them. I love this post (and the one that preceded it)!!!
It’s just nice to be healthy to be able to pursue that dream!