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You'd Think I'd Know This By Now…

So you know the other day? When I “lost control?” Emotionally and food-wise? Well, the NEXT day I got my period, about two weeks early. Surprise, surprise. Not! It’s been happening a lot lately…I thought the perimenopausal years were about less, not more.

And so getting back to the events of last week, even though I was able to quickly understand what was happening on an emotional level, I didn’t realize that there was something physical going on too. And I should KNOW by now that when I feel binge-y and hungrier than “normal” it’s due to hormone imbalance, not a character flaw. But no, I actually went there for a little while.

I’m due to see the hormone specialist soon and was asked to test my hormones via saliva in March or April. Saliva is supposed to be collected on days 19, 20 or 21 of my cycle and day 19 was last week…the day I got my period, which turned it into day one. If I can’t even make it to day 19, how I am supposed to complete the test?

:::sigh:::

I have a call into the specialist.

In the meantime? Once the blood letting started, all was right with the world once again. Equilibrium was restored and control was taken out of the equation. I’m eating when hungry, I’m not “too” hungry, I’m not hungry for carby/salty/sweet, and I’m not hungry at times when I know I shouldn’t be. I trust my body. My body is telling me that something is “off” and I need to get it addressed.

Some bits of wisdom that came out of last week’s craziness:

The minute I start making my life harder than it has to be, the minute my life becomes harder than it has to be.

When I’m honest with myself, it allows me to trust myself, and thus I don’t need to prove anything, nor do I need to get approval from others.

Have you considered that the reason you feel out of control around food (if, in fact, you do) might be due to hormonal and/or other physical imbalances and not to a character flaw, personal weakness, or lack of “willpower”?

16 Comments

  • Posted April 3, 2012 at 6:28 pm | Permalink

    Does the sun rise in the morn??? ;-) I have had some many hormone issues for so many years, I could write a book! ABSOLUTE CRAZINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Posted April 3, 2012 at 6:30 pm | Permalink

    I once was on a ride at an amusement park, you know, one of those stupid spin-you around things and the bottom drops out? Well, the timing was off or something, it went too fast and then too slow, people were sliding down the sides, and about 4 people puked right on the ride.

    IMO, that’s perimenopause. I never went back on one of those amusement park rides, but this one… gotta ride it out for the duration. Short cycles, long cycles, spotting… I know I *can* get hormonal help, and I haven’t 100% ruled it out, but for now, trying to see if I can hang on without it.

  • Posted April 3, 2012 at 7:40 pm | Permalink

    You’d think after 35+ years of these cycles, we’d parse some sort of clue and no longer be surprised at the physical cause of cravings, unreasonable (but real) hunger, mood swings, etc. Like you, I always jump first on the “what is wrong with me?” train. Years of conditioning, I guess.

  • Posted April 3, 2012 at 8:03 pm | Permalink

    I pretty much crash & burned emotionally late last week and it coincided that the time of month as well. Plus there are some changes to my cycle, so at 44 I’m probably starting to go through ‘the change’ as my mum calls it (and likes to remind me she went through it young!).

    I love that realisation that ‘making’ your life harder, means it becomes harder. That’s true. Being such a catastrophizer, means that things seem worse than they are, but it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. (*Sigh*)

    Glad equilibrium has been restored….

    Deb

  • Posted April 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

    Hoping you’ll get things addressed and if not resolved, at least to a manageable level.

    And the lessons you learned remind me that sometimes it’s about trying less hard than trying harder.

  • Posted April 4, 2012 at 7:33 am | Permalink

    I thought I wasn’t coping because I was fat and unfit. Meanwhile my adrenals were about to shut down. I thought I was out of control emotionally, meanwhile my body had stopped producing dopamine and serotonin. My whole breakdown was like that. The worst is that my husband still blames me for the consequences of some of the decisions I made during that time (“You were stupid to have…”) even when I tell him that I’d been physically incapable of rational thought at the time. I mean, my body and mind had just about shut down on me.

    About two months ago I realized that I was going to have my period while on my reunion trip at the end of this month. Generally, my period is a nightmare and I don’t stray from my house or office during that time. But I’m not missing that trip! So, I’ve been avoiding foods that are known to have a negative effect on the hormones and lo and behold, my current period has been much, much more manageable than usual. I’m going to continue in this vein, and hopefully I will not be too inconvenienced during my trip.

    You’re right, things are as hard as we make them. I’m definitely getting better at this!

  • Posted April 4, 2012 at 8:14 am | Permalink

    Those darn hormones!

  • Posted April 4, 2012 at 8:14 am | Permalink

    I typically always attribute my binge eating to emotional reasons. But, I went to a dietician who said I was clearly not eating enough in the morning, which was causing me to binge at night. I started eating more in the am, and it DID decrease the binge eating some. Another thing that has helped was SLEEP. When my body feels tired, I usually go to the fridge. But, now that I know this is a signal/trigger, I head to bed.

    Our bodies are amazing!!! They tell us what we need! We just need to listen!!!

  • Helen
    Posted April 4, 2012 at 8:26 am | Permalink

    One of my favorite things about finally making it TO menopause is that I no longer have those dumb hormonal swings. They are much harder to deal with in perimenopause as things become irregular. But soon – sooner than you think, you’ll be right as rain!

  • Posted April 4, 2012 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    I want to know more about the hormone specialist..what exactly or who exactly is this? endocrinologist?

    i have sudden swings with depression now with the perimenapause and sudden swings of sexual drive that are so acute and so sudden and somewhat severe that I know it’s hormones. ButI’m not doing anything about it ..my gyn is not with the program on this , so I’m not going there.

    No hot flashes..just other weirdness.

  • Posted April 4, 2012 at 9:29 am | Permalink

    oh, and i downloaded the latest christiane northrup book on to my kindle about menopause. I went to one of her books that I’ve had for years–published 1995. Yeah, not exactly up to date. The info i needed wasn’t even discovered until after 2000.

  • Posted April 4, 2012 at 3:44 pm | Permalink

    It is hard to not prove it when you have done it a long time. I think it is an ego thing. Letting go is hard.

    I am reading a book called “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” about the body’s stress response. It has me rethinking a few things in my life and how I see things I do or things I believe.

    My sister is very susceptible to extra emotions (depression and very negative thinking) just before her period. She knows it, but sometimes because of the mood, she has trouble recognizing it and reacting to it at that moment. Afterwards – she gets it.

  • Posted April 5, 2012 at 3:26 am | Permalink

    Aha! For the first time in over a decade I have a regular period, welcome 28 day cycle. Because I was bleeding all of the time before I never put my bottomless pit stomach and menstrual cycle together. It seemed so sporadic, and maybe it was. But now about a week before my period I get crabby as hell, hungry and acne. Maybe I should bring that up with my naturopath. Although I’m afraid how much more money hormone testing could be, worth it I’m sure!
    My question now is, do you try to control that as Cammy so eloquently put it, unreasonable but real hunger or just go with the flow…ha, ha, ha!?

  • Posted April 5, 2012 at 5:55 am | Permalink

    AHH HORMONES.
    you caught up to me at 42. :)

  • Posted April 6, 2012 at 7:27 am | Permalink

    Hormones are crazy during this time of life. Love ‘em, hate ‘em. It varies on the day!

  • Posted April 8, 2012 at 5:30 pm | Permalink

    This is all great information for me, and I’ll take as much as I can get right now. I honestly think that my hormones are about 80% of what’s wrong with me, emotionally speaking. I’m more anxiety prone, eat more, have wider mood swings, etc. and can tell when something is ‘not right’ (although things haven’t been right for me in a long time.) I think the key is listening to your body. I have had hormonal blood testing done but never saliva tests; that’s where I need to go next. Great post.

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