AUTHOR. STORYTELLER. RELATIONSHIP COACH.
I have created a movement for brave women who have experienced lifelong struggles
related to a troubled relationship with their mothers.
Why brave? This work shifts a paradigm. It is often considered taboo to discuss the pain of dysfunctional mother-daughter issues outside of lofty clinical pathologies and personality disorders, unless, of course, it’s in a private support group where, often, the “support” ends up keeping women stuck in their painful stories, reactions, and patterns of behavior.
In that traditional paradigm, affected women are stuck conveying “lesser versions” of themselves, which, ironically, is often what happens between mothers and daughters who have a failing or dysfunctional relationship.
While on the surface it may seem like a niche issue, this work gets to the heart of self-actualization, gender equality, and intersectional feminism. I have made the connection between the micro (one mother / one daughter struggling) and the macro (internalized misogyny and the so-called Mother Wound, which is the pain of living one’s life as a woman in cultures and societies that do not value women and girls equally, an attitude that is too often passed down from mother to daughter). This is the source of so much intergenerational pain, dysfunction, self-loathing and even violence among so many women.
This work focuses on both this macro view and on specific, practical, and compassionate ways
in which women can learn to “re-mother themselves” and to establish healthy, kind boundaries, not just with their mothers,
but in all types of relationships, throughout their lives.
Based on my own healing journey, I know that when women feel guilty, ashamed, and afraid, they are unable to help others who suffer from systemic oppression. In my writing, I share not just my stories and my hard-won wisdom, but also an empowerment process that challenges assumptions about the way things are and can be for women, not just within the context of their ongoing or historic relationships with their own mothers (who often model and foster ongoing disempowerment), but within the world at large.
My mission is to help women gain autonomy and control over their own lives,
fostering power in them, for use in their own lives,
and with their children, families, and in their communities.
THIS IS THE WORK I AM DOING, TOO.
My approach is based on the belief that the truth never creates suffering
and all stories can be told through the lens of truth.
I used to suffer a lot and I learned how to stop doing that to myself.
I don’t run a support group. I hold your hand as you transform your painful stories
from something that wears you out and makes you suffer
into a source of wisdom, creativity, and peace.
And I can tell you right now that being pitied and receiving sympathy doesn’t do that.
Pay attention to what others are trying to give you…and why.
LINEAGE IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
My work is informed not only by my own experiences but also by many mentors and teachers, known to and by me
(Randi Buckley, Laura Munson, Jondi Whitis, Brooke Castillo, Bethany Webster), and unknown to me
(Maya Angelou, David Bowie, Pema Chodron, Oprah Winfrey, Brené Brown, Martha Beck, Elizabeth Gilbert…).
I DO A LOT OF STORYTELLING. BESIDES MY BLOG…
I performed an original piece for the 2017 Listen To Your Mother show in Providence, RI.
You can catch me on various podcasts:
I have a Bachelor of Arts in Communications and somewhere along the line,
I figured out that I learn best by doing and writing (versus sitting in a classroom).
I was a public relations account executive right out of college for about five minutes and
I was a plastics industry trade magazine journalist for about 20 years
(if I had a dime for every time someone has mentioned The Graduate…).
I’ve sold books (in an actual bookstore) and I’ve been a freelance writer.
I’ve written two books (one of which is a bonafide international best-seller, having sold over 115,000 copies)
and am writing my third and fourth books.
I have three stepchildren and two grandchildren (they call me Booboo).
I’m an optimist, a late-blooming feminist, and a champion of anyone who grew up
with a difficult mother, even difficult mothers.
HERE’S WHAT I’M WORKING ON NOW:
- Growing MARE: A Re-Mothering Community.
- Leading Impeccable Boundaries workshops, both live and online.
- Revising and expanding The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother, which will be unavailable after August 29, 2017 (
newtitle is available for pre-order: Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration).
- Speaking (I especially love to do podcasts).
- Creating content for my YouTube channel.
- Working 1:1 with women who desire a personal, custom, and private approach.
You can also subscribe to receive my Love Notes + Advice For Adult Daughters With Difficult Mothers every Thursday by e-mail. Dear Abby’s got nothin’ on me.
Seriously though, thank you for being here with me.