Advice, Essays, and other bits of wisdom

Guilt pretends to be necessary

Question from a reader: How do I navigate and get over the guilt I feel because I am choosing to protect myself instead of calling my mother (or rarely calling her). For a while, phone calls had...

Do not settle for being pitied

Dear you... A couple of years ago, I was tagged in a thread on Facebook in which someone shared an article about why unloved daughters struggle to escape shame. Several women commented that this had...

Remembering is a practice

Dear you... It's not easy to reconcile and heal your relationship with your mother if it's been a source of suffering. It's an ongoing process that can include the cycling of intense emotion (fear,...

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“If there was A Nobel Prize for women helping/supporting women, you’d be the recipient. I love you.” ~ C.H.

“I have benefitted so much from your work and I especially used Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters to help me reframe my relationship with my own difficult mother. In a nutshell, I have learned to give her the unconditional love she always denied me and to allow her to be whoever she is. So much wisdom in that book! I was underlining on almost every page.” ~ J.M.

Karen, I find your blog posts so inspiring. I now have a fabulous relationship with my mum but it takes concentrated work each day to keep it being good. I am so glad I found you and your writing.” ~ S.H.

“As always, your writing hits the very thing I needed to see / hear / read, just when I need it! Even when, and especially when, people see your mother as “super human” – someone to be admired and followed – we can have different relationships with them. While I don’t comment often, know that I read everything I receive from you – and I get value from it all!” ~ D.D.

“Believe it or not your book was so helpful even though I got a hold of it only 6 months before my mother died. Your weekly Love Notes continue to be helpful and I recommend your book to anyone with a deceased mother who feels like they are still being controlled from the grave.” ~ J.Z.

“The advice you provide in your weekly Love Notes What is so skillful. powerful, loving, and boundaried. Thank you for modeling how to show up with wisdom instead of defensively. I feel a little safer in the world.” ~ L.R.

Karen, you are awesome. I love having your emails in my inbox giving me added support with loving my elderly mum.” ~ H.S.

“I am so thankful for discovering you and you never fail to surprise me with how on point and how relatable your words and messages are.” ~ K.S.

“Thank you so much for this! This couldn’t have come at a better time. You are so intuitive!” ~ K.B.

“Thank you once again for seeing so much of the truth of who I am and who I want to be, and writing it so beautifully!” ~ B.C.

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