Advice, Essays, and other bits of wisdom

Fill in the blanks…

"If I wasn't afraid to feel __________________ I'd __________________." Dear you... So often the reason you don't... Set the boundary... Speak up for yourself... Say no... Say yes... Do the thing...

When she doesn’t respect you…

Dear you... I used to believe that mother didn't respect me. I had a lot of evidence. I could point to numerous instances and patterns of behavior that proved it. It made me hurt and angry. What I...

I stopped, I started, I asked

I stopped wishing she'd change. I started noticing the difference between what she does and how I labeled it. I asked myself two key questions. Re: wishing she’d change Think about how hard it is to...

You might get mad at me for this one

Question from a reader... I have a girls trip to Hawaii planned with my adult daughter, my mother-in-law, and my mother in April 2020. I have a close relationship with my daughter and I am so...



“If there was A Nobel Prize for women helping/supporting women, you’d be the recipient. I love you.” ~ C.H.

“I have benefitted so much from your work and I especially used Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters to help me reframe my relationship with my own difficult mother. In a nutshell, I have learned to give her the unconditional love she always denied me and to allow her to be whoever she is. So much wisdom in that book! I was underlining on almost every page.” ~ J.M.

Karen, I find your blog posts so inspiring. I now have a fabulous relationship with my mum but it takes concentrated work each day to keep it being good. I am so glad I found you and your writing.” ~ S.H.

“As always, your writing hits the very thing I needed to see / hear / read, just when I need it! Even when, and especially when, people see your mother as “super human” – someone to be admired and followed – we can have different relationships with them. While I don’t comment often, know that I read everything I receive from you – and I get value from it all!” ~ D.D.

“Believe it or not your book was so helpful even though I got a hold of it only 6 months before my mother died. Your weekly Love Notes continue to be helpful and I recommend your book to anyone with a deceased mother who feels like they are still being controlled from the grave.” ~ J.Z.

“The advice you provide in your weekly Love Notes What is so skillful. powerful, loving, and boundaried. Thank you for modeling how to show up with wisdom instead of defensively. I feel a little safer in the world.” ~ L.R.

Karen, you are awesome. I love having your emails in my inbox giving me added support with loving my elderly mum.” ~ H.S.

“I am so thankful for discovering you and you never fail to surprise me with how on point and how relatable your words and messages are.” ~ K.S.

“Thank you so much for this! This couldn’t have come at a better time. You are so intuitive!” ~ K.B.

“Thank you once again for seeing so much of the truth of who I am and who I want to be, and writing it so beautifully!” ~ B.C.


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