Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
The Matriarch Mare is calm because her boundaries are impeccable. Because she knows who she is – with clarity and equanimity – the other horses respect her. She does not let herself be influenced by another horse’s fears or anxieties or aggression. She knows the right thing to do, based on her own internal signals, and she does it. She doesn’t need approval or permission. She lives and breathes from a place of integrity and certainty, because of her strong and appropriate boundaries. As a result, she is relaxed and at peace. She belongs to herself. She has an undefended heart. ~ with thanks to Martha Beck and Elizabeth Gilbert for this concept
The Re-Mothering process challenges assumptions about the way things are and can be for women, not just within the context of their ongoing or historic relationships with their own mothers (who sometimes model and foster ongoing disempowerment), but within the world at large.
One of the first questions I ask women when they tell me about the troubled relationship they have with their mother is... How do you want to feel? A lot of times the answer is: "I want to feel neutral." When I ask, "why neutral?" the response is usually... Because...read more
It's a hard truth: not only does your mother not respect your boundaries...she very well may not respect you. It hurts. Deeply. Sure, you can chalk it up to an addiction, a personality disorder, a mental illness, or just plain old meanness. But deep down inside you...read more
I know what stopped me. My fear that she wouldn't respect them. Which would mean she didn't respect ME. And for a very long time I wasn't willing to take that risk. For years, my fear kept me spinning in self-doubt and confusion about what I wanted. I was afraid to...read more
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