It’s a hard truth: not only does your mother not respect your boundaries…she very well may not respect you.

It hurts. Deeply.

Sure, you can chalk it up to an addiction, a personality disorder, a mental illness, or just plain old meanness. But deep down inside you still crave your mother’s attention…her love, her approval, her…respect.

You hope, despite all the evidence to contrary, that she will change. That she will wake up and respect you and your boundaries.

If she doesn’t, does this mean you don’t get to have boundaries with her?

No.

Here’s what I know to be true: her disrespect is her own creation. You don’t cause it.

What your mother thinks, says, feels, and does has nothing to do with your boundaries (whether you have them or not).

Her disrespect doesn’t mean that boundaries don’t work…or that you’ll be a failure at setting them.

It simply means that you are being invited to respect yourself.

The respect you are craving is created by the boundaries you set.

Take my hand.

 

Much, much love,
Karen
P.S. You know what? It’s actually really good news that your mother doesn’t have to respect your boundaries, because if she did – if she had to respect your boundaries in order for you to have them – you’d be waiting a long-ass time to have boundaries.

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