You: This is going to take me a long time to unravel and get to the root of it all.

Me: Why do you think it will take a long time?

You: Because it’s so old and deep.

Me: What if you have the answer right now?

You: {stunned silence}

Me: Are you there?

You: How is that possible?

Me: Well, let’s find out. What do you think is at the root of it all?

You: My belief that I don’t belong…that I am not good enough…that I am not lovable…that I am too much…

Me: See? It took just mere minutes.

You: Yeah, but I don’t think I can change that belief…or get rid of it.

Me: You don’t have to change it or get rid of it. Be curious. Simply notice it and then ask yourself if you want to continue to believe it.

You: OMG…this is the best news ever!!

Me: Right??

Much, much love,


P.S. This isn’t about minimizing or making light of your pain (although that is, ultimately, the goal, right? Less pain and more light?) It’s about becoming the leader of your own brain.

One of my favorite leadership experts is Brené Brown, who has a new book out called “Dare To Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.”

If you don’t think of yourself as a leader, consider that Brené defines a leader as “anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and has the courage to develop that potential.”

What we are doing is taking responsibility for finding the potential in ourselves…and having the courage to develop it.

Take my hand…

“Don’t armor up, stay open and get curious. Curiosity is the leader’s tool.” ~ Brené Brown