Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
The Matriarch Mare is calm because her boundaries are impeccable. Because she knows who she is – with clarity and equanimity – the other horses respect her. She does not let herself be influenced by another horse’s fears or anxieties or aggression. She knows the right thing to do, based on her own internal signals, and she does it. She doesn’t need approval or permission. She lives and breathes from a place of integrity and certainty, because of her strong and appropriate boundaries. As a result, she is relaxed and at peace. She belongs to herself. She has an undefended heart. ~ with thanks to Martha Beck and Elizabeth Gilbert for this concept
The Re-Mothering process challenges assumptions about the way things are and can be for women, not just within the context of their ongoing or historic relationships with their own mothers (who sometimes model and foster ongoing disempowerment), but within the world at large.
Just now I was reading a novel in which one character (let's call her Ann) says to another (let's call her Zoe), "There's no need to feel embarrassed." Ostensibly, Ann wants Zoe to feel better. She doesn't want Zoe to feel embarrassed. Why? Why do we even say things...read more
Question from a reader: Could you please share some advice for daughters who have a trust fund (or are financially dependent on mom) and feel obligated to have contact with an emotionally abusive mother? The common dilemma is “I need to set boundaries, but then,...read more
A question from a reader: My adult daughter, with whom I was very close, has told me that she no longer wants to be in contact with me. I am devastated, not only because she and I were in contact so often, but because I can no longer see my grandchildren. After some...read more
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