things that are alive want to flourish

"Things that are alive want to flourish." ~ Lindsay Gibson in a NYT interview "Compassion For Your Parents Can Be A Trap"​

To flourish means to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.

Shame does NOT want us to flourish.

At best, it blunts and dims us, keeping us small. At worst, it destroys us and our sense of self...our relationship to ourselves.

Not because we deserve it, although when internalized it feels that way...as if it were etched in stone and written in the stars.

Permanent.

At worst, there were times when I felt there was no coming back from how bad I must be. At best, I was pathetic.

I was alive, yes, but I was half dead inside. Frozen. Coping.

I wanted to flourish. I wanted to turn towards the sun and receive the goodness of life. To be my favorite self.

Every time I tried and didn't succeed, it became one more thing wrong with me.

What I didn't understand was that flourishing felt dangerous to my body...because it meant betraying my mother.

It wasn't safe.

We begin to flourish when we feel safe enough...when we work with our minds and our bodies in a non-threatening, non-coercive, organic way rather than trying to "hack" our mindsets and nervous systems.

Whether you work with me in Shame School or 1:1, I am here to help you to create the favorable conditions and environment for you to flourish and be your favorite self.

Much, much love,

Karen